Note 8: Meditation 7

Journal: Meditations

April 29 2014

I sat down in front of the lump of plaster and brushed off loose crumbs. Stroking and feeling the surface of the lump before I try to meditate over it have become part of my ritual.

- Straighten your spine, breathe in trough the nose and out the mouth, breath from the stomach, relax the body, only think on the breath, unwind in your body, do not use force to keep your eyes closed, let go of the bodily feeling, let the arms fall away from consciousness.

My eyes flickered constantly but I tried not to let that bother me. The lump of plaster seemed to swell. It looked like the lump had a shining aura. I grew more fascinated by this sensation. The shape pulsed, and at the same time had a clear outline against the room around.

Suddenly I leaned too much toward the plaster lump and had to readjust myself: Think on the breath, breath from the stomach.

After some time my vision started to fog. I observed and let it happen. If I thought too much about the sensation, the fog would pull back to the lump. I spent some time to play with the experience. The white surface of the plaster would grow and fill my vision as long as I let the breath fill my mind.

I sat there and watched. My breathing laid a white veil over everything I could see. It dawned on me that the lines and contours on the lump shined through the blank vision. I sometimes did not notice the spaces and surfaces in-between the sculptural shape in the plaster lump.

- What is the difference between thinking about something and holding an attention towards something?